Heartache to Healing - Grief Support 

MINISTRY TO THOSE GRIEVING THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE, OR A SIGNIFICANT LOSS 

DUE TO COVID-19 AND CURRENT RESTRICTIONS PLEASE CONTACT THE PARISH OFFICE TO CONFIRM TIMING OF OUR NEXT IN PERSON SUPPORT GROUP,  OR TO REQUEST ONE TO ONE SUPPORT.

May 2021 Update
 

To members of St. Michael Parish Heartache to Healing - Grief Support Group and Act II - Separated/Divorced Support Group:

We are now in the month of May.  Many of us think of Springtime as a time of new beginnings.  It can sometimes be difficult to think of new beginnings when we're grieving and especially during the pandemic, but Springtime does to a certain degree (even if slightly) bring about a heightened awareness of new life around us.

We also celebrate Mother's Day (next weekend) and Father's Day (next month).  These days are meant as a joyous occasion to celebrate the special women and men who have shaped our lives. However, it can be difficult for those who have lost a loved one; whether it be the loss of a parent, child, spouse, or other family/friends.  Celebrating your loved one on this day is still possible to honor the times you shared together. 

If you're looking for ways to celebrate and remember your loved one, here are a few suggestions for how to spend Mother's Day and Father's Day.

1. Plant a Tree/Flowers

The reason planting a tree (or even a perennial plant or flower that will come back year after year) is such a great idea is that you'll be able to watch it grow and thrive over a long period of time. It can act as a sort of living memory; a comforting reminder of the person you loved. During Covid-19 many Nurseries are open to shop in person or order online with curbside pickup.   

2. Make Your Loved One's Favorite Meal

Cook your loved one's favorite meal. Pick up some of their favorite ice-cream.  If you have family at home, or virtually, sit down together and share your favorite memories. Whatever you do, allow  yourself to enjoy it just as your loved one would have.

3. Use Flowers

Flowers are a lovely way to celebrate a loved one who's passed away. Did your loved one have a favorite flower? Many floral shops will deliver flowers.  Placing an arrangement on the dining table or in the kitchen, or taking a bouquet, or preparing a flowerbed at the cemetery are all very meaningful.  You can also send bouquets to other family members in your loved one's honor. Sending flowers can help you reach out and show support for others in your family too.

4. Write a Letter

Writing can be very therapeutic, so writing a letter to your loved one is a good way to spend Mother's Day and/or Father's Day. Tell your loved one about your life, and write down some of the things you love about her/him. Putting it on paper may make you feel better. You can even leave it at the cemetery or in a special location you shared together.

5. Share Stories

This is a great time to pick up the phone,  or gather together virtually to share memories.  Acknowledging your loss and also the life of your loved one is therapeutic to both you and to others who share the same loss.

6. Pay It Forward

A great way to honor your loved one is by using Mother's Day and/or Father's Day as an opportunity to pay it forward. You can simply reach out to other mothers and fathers in your life to tell them how much they are appreciated.  Marillac Place, Kitchener offers safe accommodation for new moms and moms to be as well as basic life skill training, child care guidance and educational opportunities to young women, who otherwise might be homeless or forced to live in poor conditions.  From Mother's Day to Father's Day their 'Baby Bottle Campaign' provides the funds desperately needed to offer this support.  Consider making a donation in honor of your loved one.  On the donation page there's an opportunity to also link your donation to St. Michael Parish.  https://marillacplace.ca/donate/

7.  Pray the Rosary Virtually - Monday Evenings Throughout May

May is the month we set aside to honor Mary, our Blessed Mother.  During the month of May our St. Michael's CWL gathers virtually to pray the Rosary, every Monday evening at 7pm.  Everyone is welcome to attend via Zoom.  Friends are welcome too.   To request the link for the meeting please email cwl@stmichaelw.ca.  

8.  Remember Your Loved One With a Mass Intention

Although Masses are online/virtual/livestreamed, you can still request a special Mass intention for your loved one.  The Mass is the greatest prayer we have since the sacrifice of Christ Himself. To request a Mass intention simply click on this link, or contact the office at St. Michael Parish directly - https://www.stmichaelw.ca/mass-times.

There is no replacement for your loved one this Mother’s Day and Father's Day, but there are positive ways to help you feel closer to their memory and to the people in your life. 

May God bless you,

Kathy

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February 2021 Update
 

To members of St. Michael Parish Heartache to Healing - Grief Support Group and Act II - Separated/Divorced Support Group:

 

My last message to you was Christmas Eve.  It's hard to believe already we're into February of a new year.  

As we know all too well, holidays can bring added heartbreak. Having to forgo traditional family gatherings due to Covid 19 and the restrictions that we must adhere to makes things even more challenging.  With Valentine's Day and also Family Day approaching, I thought an email of support is timely.  

 

For some, during these times of Covid-19, it may feel like a relief to be 'off the hook' in terms  of hosting or attending a large family gathering.  Or it may only magnify the loneliness you are feeling. Everyone’s reaction to this year’s holidays, will be unique .  All are normal. There is no right or wrong way to face the holidays and other special occasions when grieving the loss of a loved one - either due to death, or separation/divorce.

 

The anniversary of the death of your loved one, or separation/divorce is also likely to trigger feelings and emotions you thought you had worked through.  You may have made some significant progress in your experience of grief, but it is not uncommon for these special days to bring back the familiar feelings of loss and pain in full force.

 

In our sessions we talk about various coping tips.  As a reminder, I've listed a handful below.  Some may help, and others won’t. You choose what works for you.

 

1.  Make room for your feelings.  Acknowledge that this is a difficult time.  Talk to your friends and family to get the support you need.  Try to make a plan that gives you some control over what the day will hold.  

 

2.  If you're grieving the death of a loved one, celebrate a special day by taking time to do something in memory of the person:  lighting a special candle, planting a new plant, leaving flowers or a momentum at the cemetery, making a donation to their favorite charity, requesting a Mass Intention in remembrance of your loved one.

 

3.  Do something special for you.  Buy yourself some flowers, cook a favorite meal or order a meal in to enjoy.  Pamper yourself. Bop around the house listening to your favourite music.  Call someone who always has the ability to cheer you up. Attend daily Mass virtually, or simply pray.

 

4.  Do something special for someone else - a friend, neighbor, family member.  Even during these times there are many things we can do:  shovel snow, order dinner, or a phone call. 

 

5.  Take care of yourself - emotionally and physically. Try to get a little exercise in each day, such as a brisk walk.   Grief work is exhausting, you need plenty of rest each day in order to cope with the emotions of grief which are heightened during special days.

            

And remember, it's also ok to be happy at this time of year.  This doesn’t diminish how much you love and miss the person who has died, or the relationship that you once had.  Embrace it all:  the joy and the sorrow.

 

We look forward to the future when our Churches open up again and we have the approval to restart our Heartache to Healing Grief Support Group and our Act II Separated/Divorced Support Group. We will keep you informed along the way.  In the meantime if there is anything you need please don't hesitate to contact me, or St. Michael Parish directly.

 

You are most welcome to join us virtually for daily Mass.  More information and links to our St. Michael Parish YouTube Channel can be found here - https://www.stmichaelw.ca/live-stream-mass-schedule.

 

May our Lord bless you and give you peace.

 

Kathy

Join us Thursday evenings – October 22 – November 26, 2020 for our 6 week Grief Support Group

Grief support provides companionship on the long journey through the grief process.  St. Michael’s  Parish offers a 6 week grief support program that follows the process developed by Dr. Bill Webster, an experienced leader in grief counselling.  This group provides fellowship for the journey through loss and grief.   All who have suffered a loss are welcome, regardless of how much time has passed since your loss.

This program is offered every Spring and Fall.  There is no fee, but you must register due to limited seats.

We cover a new topic every week, watch a short video and have discussion.  The topics consist of:

Week 1 – The Experience of Grief
Week 2 – What is Grief
Week 3 – Understanding the Process of Grief Avoidance
Week 4 – Confronting the Reality – Grief Attacks, Guilt, and Anger
Week 5 – Confronting Adjustments, Including Loneliness
Week 6 – Reorganization

Everyone is welcome!   Bring a friend!
Please register by October 12^th 2020. 

For more information and to register:
Visit our website – www.stmichaelw.ca/grief-support
Email – parish@stmichaelw.ca
Phone – 519-884-9311

Note:  Pandemic safety protocol and guidelines will be communicated to all participants.

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Grief support provides companionship on the long journey through the grief process.  St. Michael’s  Parish offers a 6 week grief support program that follows the process developed by Dr. Bill Webster, an experienced leader in grief counselling.  This group provides fellowship for the journey through loss and grief.   All who have suffered a loss are welcome, regardless of how much time has passed since your loss.

This program is offered every Spring and Fall.  There is no fee, but you must register.
We cover a new topic every week, watch a short video and have discussion.  The topics consist of:

Week 1 – The Experience of Grief
Week 2 – What is Grief
Week 3 – Understanding the Process of Grief Avoidance
Week 4 – Confronting the Reality – Grief Attacks, Guilt, and Anger
Week 5 – Confronting Adjustments, Including Loneliness
Week 6 - Reorganization

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****CANCELLED ****March 19, 2020 - The Raising of Lazarus" - A Saint John's Bible reflection - Visio Divina (sacred seeing) 
 

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May 7 - June 18 - 6 week Grief Support Group (excluding June 11)
June 25 - Potluck social
September 17 - Topic - TBD - details to follow
September 24 - October 29 - 6 week Grief Support Group
Monday November 2 - All Soul's Day - Mass - Remembering our loved ones with fellowship to follow
November 19 - Coping with Christmas
December 3 - Potluck social

Contact us for information about our 2020 session dates:

Email - parish@stmichaelw.ca

Following the 6 week program, ongoing support is offered with additional sessions and socials throughout the year.    

2020
****CANCELLED ****March 19, 2020 - The Raising of Lazarus" - A Saint John's Bible reflection - Visio Divina (sacred seeing) 
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, loss of relationship, or to strengthen your faith this Lenten season this event is for you.
Jesus is calling, “Get up and go.” Even when we feel lost, sad, and alone. Join us for a visio divina – a ‘seeing’ the Word event – with The Saint John’s Bible. Listening to Scripture we will listen again for that call and discover how our faith supports us even in moments of desolation and grief. The Raising of Lazarus, a gospel we hear each Lent, speaks of what it is to lose a loved one, to feel sadness or even anger. But it is also the story of what it means to turn to the Lord and hear him say once again, “I am the resurrection and the life.”

Dr. Anne Jamieson from the Diocese of Hamilton will lead our reflection.
Feel free to bring a friend. Everyone is welcome.

2019
March 20 2019 - Experience Music Therapy
June 19 2019 - Potluck
September 19 2019 -Grieving Our Loved Ones - Our Christian Faith with Guest Speaker:  Fr. Freitas
Fall 2019 - September 26, October 3, 10, 17, 24, November 7:
6 week Heartache to Healing Support Group (pre-registration required) 
November 14, 2019: Coping with Christmas session

Please contact our parish office for more information, upcoming dates and to register.